Defending Yourself from Negativity
One of the great things about working here at Momentum Insurance is the positivity we exude every day. We all try to support and encourage each other so we can be better people and a better company. Our Vice President recently shared an article written by Angel Chernoff with our agency that we found to be very useful and has helped change our office for the better! By circulating the key points, I do hope this helps you in your personal and professional relationships as it has helped us. We can all use a little bit of Happy in our lives. Be that Happy!
Spend more time with positive people. You are the average of the people you spend the most time with. In other words, who you spend your time with has a great impact on the person you eventually become. If you are around cynical and negative people all the time, you will become cynical and negative. Does who you are and who you want to be reflect in the company you keep? Start spending time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you, people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it. (Step 2 in 10 Ways to Defend Yourself Against Negativity; Angel Chernoff)
By spending time with the driven people you admire, you in turn are more likely to be someone to admire, someone who is driven. Having a positive, driven mindset will help in all aspects of life. Those dishes you didn’t want to do, that report you need to write, that project you’ve been dreading, will become easier to handle with a driven, positive outlook.
Be the positivity you want to see in the world. Lead by example. You can’t always save the world, but you can make the world a better place by practicing what you preach- by becoming self-aware, tapping into your compassion and protecting your positive space. Doing simple things like talking about positive daily events, common friends, hobbies, happy news, make for a light conversation with negative people. Keep the conversations focused on optimistic areas the person can relate to. You can disarm their negativity, even if it’s just for a little while. (Step 3 in 10 Ways to Defend Yourself Against Negativity; Angel Chernoff)
Lead by example. We’ve heard since in school. Don’t bully and stand up for what’s right. “Lead by example,” but instead of opposing, try to redirect. If your family is talking badly about another member, change the subject. Talk about a good deed you noticed another family member do instead. When you see someone at work not doing their job or passing it off to someone else, try to help him or her out. Ask if they would like some help on that project. They might be just having a hard time with it.
Change the way you think. The one thing nobody can take away from you is the way you choose to respond to what others say and do. The problem isn’t the events that are negative. The problem is the way you react to those events. The last of your freedom is to choose your attitude in any given circumstance. Complaining, blaming and criticizing aren’t going to change the situation. It is not always easy to find happiness in ourselves but it is always impossible to find it elsewhere. Regardless of the situation you face, your attitude is your choice. Remember, you can’t have a positive life with a negative attitude. When negativity controls your thoughts, it limits your behavior, actions and opportunities. If you realized how powerful your thoughts were, you would never think another negative thought again. (Step 4 in 10 Ways to Defend Yourself Against Negativity; Angel Chernoff)
Changing the way you react to different situations might be hard but it is completely worth it. Imagine walking into work, hearing the same person gossiping again and walking away thinking “I will not let this bring me down. I will not let them have control over my thoughts and emotions” and doing exactly that. Its inspiring, isn’t it? Afterall, an entire ocean can’t sink a ship unless the water starts to get inside.
Focus on solutions. Negative people have an endless supply of pity party invitations. Don’t RSVP. Oftentimes people use negativity as a barrier to protect themselves from the world, which in turn blocks them from solutions that could improve their life. Instead, identify solutions. Don’t dwell too much on what went wrong. Instead, focus on the next positive step. Spend your energy on moving forward toward a positive resolution. Remember, when you focus on solutions, by thinking and acting positively, sound becomes music, movement becomes dance, a smile becomes laughter and a life becomes celebration. – Stumbling on Happiness. (Step 5 in 10 Ways to Defend Yourself Against Negativity; Angel Chernoff)
This step goes hand in hand with changing the way you think. By finding solutions to every negative person’s problem, this disarms them, even if just for a moment. Allowing yourself to find a solution to every negative problem gets you and your mind involved, giving yourself time to think things through before reacting. It’s a strong habit to build, and as other people see you brush off negativity, they will want to follow your example.
Concentrate on today. Too often, we carry around things from our past that hurt us- regrets, shame, anger, pain, etc. Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die instead. Don’t let these negative points from the past rob your present happiness. You had to live through these things in the past and although unfortunate, they can’t be changed. But if the only place they live today is in your mind, then let go, move on and be happy. You can decide right now that negative experiences from your past will not predict your future. (Step 8 in 10 Ways to Defend Yourself Against Negativity; Angel Chernoff)
Most people today did not have the perfect childhood growing up. They don’t have the perfect house, kids, job, or co-workers. Overcoming and letting go of things that have happened in the past is a major step in becoming a happier, friendlier person. Letting your goals and aspirations take over your mind and driving yourself to complete them will help in this process of letting go. Getting rid of the past will make room for more positive thoughts.
Allowing yourself to follow these steps will help you to become a person you’d want around. Being more friendly and compassionate and not as angry will assist you in fulfilling your dreams and possibly be more admired by your peers. People that can make good results out of a bad situation prosper in the long run. Don’t allow your mind and thoughts to be clouded by the negative remarks and comments of others. Take control of your actions and move forward in a positive manner, every day.
If you want to learn more about improving your happiness and protecting yourself from negativity, check out the full article here http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/08/08/10-ways-to-defend-yourself-against-negativity/
Angel Chernoff; www.marcandangel.com; 08.08.2012; Online Website Blog; 11.17.2017